2009 Lights out!

This is a short overview of every month of the year. I didn't reveal everything that happened. Just the things I thought were worth mentioning.
January: I can't think of anything that happened too crazy last January. I was still in school and was very restless. I remember meeting a new male friend downtown. Very artistic and nice.
February: I remember spending Valentine's Day with my old crush and we had fun! Until I found a Valentine's Day card stashed behind his dresser from someone named Phyllis?? I never asked him about it though....
March: My daughter's birthday party was a huge success and she was very happy. I also went to a friend's birthday party and shut it down. It was soo much fun lol. I wore this cute dress I bought from a second hand store. I also ignored a few frenemies that night. Looking good is the best revenge.
April: My old crush and I started having some issues. I think we stopped talking for a while. I had finally started talking to a male friend after a falling out in December. I was nearing graduation at school and was becoming very restless..
May: Nothing particularly special stands out for this month. I went to see my old crush for his birthday and we had fun! Until he went under his bed and pulled out an Oozie! Ummm can you say buzzkill?? He quickly put it away when he saw that I wasn't playing any games with him.
June: I graduated from school this month. Had a joint birthday party with my friend Charlie. I remember arguing on my cellphone that night. With who and why?? I don't remember. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died this month.
July: Block parties, fun with my kid all summer. I also met my new crush this month. Things with my old crush ended bitterly. *kanyeshrugs*
August: Nothing in particular stands out.
September: I was prepping for school and filling out a lot of paper work. I enrolled my kid in pre-k. I remember feeling happy that summer was FINALLY over. I also went to a FaceBook party with my cousin. I didn't know anybody there but my cousin knew EVERYONE. She's why I'm not on FaceBook.
October: Was excited about starting school, Phillies were in the World Series and trick or treated in the misty rain with my daughter. It was worth it though.
November: Holiday season started. I had an argument with someone important. I remember having to control my temper. A ride home almost turned into a major regret. My intuition kicked in. Steve is a noodle #random. A major change happened in my life.
December: My crush came back to Philly, all hell broke loose. Christmas was beautiful. Christmas Eve was a nightmare. My daughter fell in love with these annoying twin doll babies. I'm super excited about 2010. I have a lot of plans and goals to achieve.

Etch -A -Sketch Poem

I just love this poem. I wrote it seven years ago! This is copywrited work from Janxybaby. And now I share it with you.

Etch- A- Sketch

You drew me with a crayon
And grasped the roundness of my face
The shirt I wore was rayon
It's amazing how you capture every trace
Sketches of my memory
Are perforated to the page
It's shocking how you mimic me
Through painted lines that show my age
You used a bounty of colors
In different textures of brown
There's no adjective that can cover
My aura and all it surrounds
The likeness of my mother
Was caught like the lense of a camera
The red and gray colors fought
To reflect my true inner stamina
Your portrait of me
Was soo much more than an average picture
You drew my inner light
With a fire of unwavering flicker
To see a mockery of myself
Through the hands of a learned teacher
I can't explain how I felt
When I saw the portrait of this beautiful creature.

Friendship.....Handle with care

Well the holiday season is upon us and it just wouldn't be the same without the trauma and dramas that comes along with it. Lately I've been thinking about friendships and just how fragile they really are. I'm currently going through a cold war with a certain friend. We had a dissagreement and the next thing I know a month passed and we still weren't talking. Why she choose to take this path I don't know. But I knew that I was right and she was wrong and because of that, I wasn't budging. She recently made contact with me and I'm prepared for us to have one major conversation about our dissagreement and then bury the hatchet. A friend.... I mean a true friend knows when to let things go to forgive and forget. I don't throw things in people's faces because I know how petty that is. A real friend doesn't do such things. I know she's eager to fill me in on her life. I can only imagine the traumas and dramas she's experienced over this past month we weren't talking and me likewise. And like a friend.... I mean a true friend, I will listen intently reserving judgement and only occasionally giving my opinion when it's requested or direly needed. I received a frantic phone call from a different friend last night. She's been having a lot of difficult life issues lately and we spoke about the issues a few times, just light surface conversations. But I knew there was a tornado coming my way. She wore a pretty mask and put up a good front about her problems. And like a friend...... A true friend, I didn't push or pull her to open up to me. I was able to see the cracks and crevices in her mask but was determined not to go any further than she wanted to. I knew I had to step back and handle the relationship with care. The tornado finally touched ground last night and it was a hell of a tornado she unleashed on me. But like a friend.... I mean a true friend, I held her hand in the storm and reserved judgement and tried to use the whole ten percent of my brain power to help her. I told her to stay strong and never give up faith. Her situation is bleak at the moment, but like a friend...... A true friend I continued to find the rainbow inside her storm. Now that I'm in my thirties I have matured, checked my ego, realized that jealousy can be tamed, and friends come in all shapes and sizes. Every relationship must be handled with care. Regardless of the box it arrives in.

Janxy

Love resume

Lately I've been pondering the prospect of evaluating love the same way as evaluating a job. If you're qualified for a job, you should at least be able to get an interview. Same thing with dating, if you share the same goals with a potential mate, you should at least qualify for a date. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is no true "scientific" way to pick a mate. Yes, I understand the dating websites have their 'success" rates, but if dating websites "scientific" process was so great, how come internet dating isn't the Defacto way to meet someone? Just because a person "looks good" on paper and share common goals with you does not mean that will translate into your perfect mate. Love and dating have a lot of intangibles that can't be pinned down. You may find yourself attracted to a person for reasons totally unrelated to their "paper resume". Just because "on paper" a person should be a perfect fit for you doesn't mean it's true. The deciding factor in love matches comes down to one thing: Chemistry. You might meet and fall in love with someone at the bottom of your love resume pile. Simply because that particular person had one thing that the people with "great" resumes didn't have. Chemistry. There will always be a certain segment of folks who will marry for stability or religious reasons. For a lucky few, the resume of their mate will match the chemistry and it's a match made in heaven. Some people will bypass the chemistry part for the sake of stability. Only each individual knows which route is best for them. But for me chemistry will win everytime.

Giddy heart

This blog is dedicated to anyone who has a special friend that makes you feel happy inside. It may not even be a special friend, it can be a pet, a movie, tv show etc... The point I'm trying to make it that having that giddy feeling can get you through the day, just that sudden burst of thinking about that particular person can serve as a spark to motivate you. I know someone made my heart giddy today and I was in a way better mood because of it. Most days this particular person worries my socks off but today was all smiles and giggles. It's important to have these people or things in our lives. When I'm reading a good book I intentionally leave it home so that I can rush home to read it.I think all day about the possible twists and turns the book may take. Having something to look forward to is an awesome feeling. It's like a pocket full of sunshine. We live in a world of instant gratification and we HATE waiting for anything or anyone. Delay gratification for a few days, you'll appreciate things more. I know I have. No need to post an uberly long blog today. Just wanted you guys to think about the person or thing that makes your heart giddy.
Janxy.

Leftover Feelings......

I wrote this poem a little while ago. I was in a stormy relationship with a young man and things were getting crazy! I had to remember who was the "mature" person in the relationship and regain control. But it was way too many mind games and I finally had to get off of the roller coaster. This poem was my letting go. Let's just say it was a fling that lasted waaay too long!

Young Man

Hey young man, won't you put away that gun.
Stop playin wit that trigger, cause to you it's just fun.
You had to point that barrell, in the direction of me.
Like cupid with his arrow, you showed no mercy.
I have to confess, i liked playing wit your gun.
Until it let off two shots, and know i am shunned.
I was raised not to play, wit those black shiny things
Two shots in the heart, one two bang, bang.
You have perfect aim, and your stance is just right
Then you hide on the rooftop, looking for fresh prey at night.
Hey young man, won't you put away that gun
Stop playin wit that trigger, cause to you it's just fun.
That weapon is dangerous, you need a license to carry
It's shrapnel is hazardous, soo many hearts that you bury.
I was your victim, and i wish i could forworn
All the girls of the symptoms, that your heart has been scorned.

Hey! Young Man

This poem was inspired last spring. I know a lot of people may have felt this way about a person. Enjoy!

Young Man

Hey young man, won't you put away that gun.
Stop playin' wit that trigger, cause to you it's just for fun.
You had to point that barrel, in the direction of me.
Like cupid with his arrow, you showed no mercy.
I have to confess, i liked playing wit your gun.
Until it let off two shots, and know i am stunned.
I was raised not to play wit those black shiny things
Two shots in the heart, one two bang, bang.
You have perfect aim, and your stance is just right
Then you hide on the rooftop, looking for fresh prey at night.
Hey young man, won't you put away that gun
Stop playin' wit that trigger, cause to you it's just fun.
That weapon is dangerous, you need a license to carry
It's shrapnel is hazardous, soo many hearts that you bury.
I was your victim, and i wish i could forewarn
All the girls of the symptoms, that their heart has been scorned.