Ghetto Therapy

“Ghetto Therapy”

Some choose to pay handsomely for the opinions of strangers

It’s easier to confide in them because lose words aren’t in danger

Mouths are complicated puzzles… tailored made for each individual

To bluff you out of your muzzle I had to pretend I was being less critical

For countless hours I listened, hand firmly rested on chin

I clung to your every sentence my ears over clogged by your sins

You’re a man of such high stature with many flunkies at your disposal

But you were easily captured by the sweet nothings that I told you

Sitting in a lawn chair casually swigging on your drink

From across the room I stared giving no hints of what I think

About the crevices of your soul that you've poured into my cap

Your spirit is riddled with holes

And your heart and conscious do not overlap

The beauty of your face has turned your humility into a disgrace

I tried to study your case but it seems your morals have been misplaced

But I’m just your audience listening, not getting paid by the hour

As you speak your symphony your ego is gently being deflowered

You no longer hold the power…..

I’m not a trained therapist, can’t give a medical determination

My motives are mysterious and I’m giving my resignation

Effective immediately

Because you lie and use too greedily

Please don’t try to plea with me my services are no longer free

Moody

Moody

Some write about happy moments... that shape their pretty worlds
Sorry I have to tell you, I’m just not that type of girl
I delve into the under layers of thoughts about my life
Like making bad decisions… And not thinking about it twice
Wishing I didn’t do things, instead of the beauty of what’s done
Regretting past transgressions but not relishing battles I’ve won
I ponder difficult concepts and love to reflect upon their embers
This is the type of process that keeps my mind state limber
When love isn’t going great and when everything is out of place
It’s easier for me to translate my simmering internal earthquake
I love when flowers start to droop or when I forget my censored parachute
The down side of life gives me strange reasons to want to salute
It would be much easier to write about beautiful sunny skies
Or how he makes me happy, but I’d rather dissect his lies
Or how last winter he made me cry
Words about difficult subjects seem come to me on the fly
I’ve noticed this pattern... of dark and moody words
They gather inside my head like a flock of circling birds
Waiting to be fed
Or at least get outside of my head
The birds are like my words and when they’re released that's when they're fed
I’m the kind of poet that appreciates to solemnest of the shade
Not marching in the parade, where beautiful words are bound to cascade
But I put up no charades... when you look over my body of work
One observation could be made.. I write my best when I am hurt.

Hearts and Jokers

Hearts and Jokers

Three months of coyly prancing a delicate game
Oh why did I start this emotional runaway train?
I’m not into calling and always ignored when you did
Used techniques like stalling but you crept through my head
Mostly at night while laying in bed so the bedroom I dread…
The confines of my life leaves little room for me to play
I think it’s just rude that you live in the opposite way
You keep your carefree on display, to you it’s always a sunny day
Your environment is relaxed with friends and hangers on
You walk through the room and people mob you in throngs
It’s definitely hard to ignore your seductive siren song
These types of men I usually give the cold shoulder
But you penetrated my skin so you deserved the once over
So I opened my folder….
The dueling continued but I became bored with your flair
You ordered from my menu with a double side of care
All I can say is how dare...
I regrouped and pondered how to stifle this spark
To snuff out this fire before it set ablaze in my heart
And I always swear I’m so smart…
So I toiled in the background, kept eyes planted on the floor
But you thought that was profound and enjoyed my demure
Your such an emotional whore, you make the lust in me soar
But you never would know this because I pretend you’re a bore
This book is still being written we’re only on chapter three
But the love bug has bitten and has infected my glee
Oh la la we we! See what you do to me? This man and his charms has set an emotional grinch free.

'Phat Flava'

This is actually a rap lol. Dedicated to my Big Girls. This is original copywrited material from janxybaby aka justjanxy.

Big thick eyebrows and an open smile
Skin be so soft, it drive boys wild
Chubby cheeks and big girl breasts
You know we cum hardest when it comes to sex
Thighs be rubbing and feet be aching
We give good lovin' for goodness sakin'
Love me handles and dimpled asses
If you can't handle watch this chick keep passing
Ribs from down south or a New York Deli
Drips from my mouth just to fill my belly
I may be thick but in all right places
Dudes stay whipped like bubble gum to braces
My pants be 16 my shirts be xl
Since I was 15 old heads could not tell
That I was a youngbuk with a woman's body
I don't give a fcuk cuz I'm still a hottie
Tongues stay waggin' and eyes stay focused
Dudes be under my spell like hocus pocus
To all size 6 chicks please don't sleep
Cuz your dude's beside me on his late night creep

'Shatter'

I heard a glass shatter somewhere down the hall
I think... why does it matter?
When you're ignoring my call
I saw pictures of someone so far from my past
I think... where did they come from?
Burnt memories are now ash
I came far from the distance
Back up to the light
Our eyes glanced for an instant
Then evaporated from sight
I heard a glass shatter
Broken pieces of life
I think... why does it matter?
As I lay restless at night

Bewitched

'Bewitched'

I for whatever reasons… thought I could out maneuver
Figuring out sneaky ways… just so you wouldn’t pursue her
Uttering pretty words and performing thoughtful acts
At first it seemed upsurd but they truly did distract
I had your rapt attention with all my noisy ways
Ignoring the tell tale symptoms; our love was dying in the shade
I knew that you’d grow weary of my trickery and deceit
But life without you seemed scary, I couldn’t handle the agony of defeat
I marveled at owning your mind but I truly preferred your heart
Because the heart is weaker and more easily had
Our situation grew bleaker you was slowly ending our fad
But I wouldn’t go lightly, I crawled and I scratched
I dreamt of you nightly while you were semi-detached
I had very little leverage, the scales were leaning her way
I thirsted for your beverage just to quench another day
I felt my heart would burst if you decided to walk away
But instead of walking away, you decided to taunt and to tease
I stayed above the fray but our love still turned diseased
Could you ease up on me please.....

Resolution Redo

Before 2010 started, I had a lot of glamorous resolutions. Of course I have my core resolutions and they haven't changed but my perimeter resolutions kind of unfolded on it's own. December 31, 2009, I had no clue that in just one month into the new year I would resolve to find a new "side hustle". A side hustle briefly came across my radar last year but I hadn't given it much thought. Two of my friends are flourishing in their side hustles, one is a baker and the other drives taxi cabs. The income they are generating from their side hustles got me to thinking.... I know I love to write and it's something that's easy for me to do and I'm currently exploring different ways to profit from my writing. I do have a book in the works and I really need to stop procrastinating. But the perfectionist that I am won't relinquish control. (I'm a work in progress). I have a music producer friend who wants me to "ghost write" for a few of his artists. Newsflash: I used to be a "rapper" and I still have skills. He and I discussed a few collaborations but so far *crickets*. Well he is a busy man. I can always take my services elsewhere. I haven't really explored other ways of side hustling. I plan to brainstorm and try to find the right thing or things to do to earn residual income. Another resolution that occurred to me after the ball dropped on New Year's Eve is changing the way I respond to people. Due to certain situations that happened last month I decided to listen and observe more. By listening intently and not interrupting (even though it's hard) I'm learning a lot about the person who is talking and noticing things I might've missed if I wasn't paying such close attention. I'm learning physical, mental and emotional things about people just by observing them more closely. I'm not talking about giving a once over, but by really taking in the whole picture of the person. The funny thing is that I'm also observing myself and my subconscious actions/behaviors. It's interesting.... Maybe I will do that double major and pick up that Psychology degree. Right now I'm on the fence, but the view is getting clearer. This pretty much sums up my resolution redo.